#BeThe1To Help

September is National Suicide Prevention month. And according to the South Dakota Suicide Prevention website, the best way to prevent suicide is to talk about it. 

“In 2017, 192 South Dakotans lost their lives by suicide. That’s the highest number ever reported in our state,” said South Dakota Gov. Daugaard. “Suicide is preventable and we can help by starting the conversation, providing support and directing those who need help to services. We hope our schools, churches, families, and community groups will engage in the fight to save lives by leading these kinds of discussions during Suicide Prevention Month this year.”

Because those experiencing suicidal thoughts might not reach out for help themselves, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, created the #BeThe1To campaign (BeThe1SD). This campaign focuses on educating and equipping people to help others in times of crisis. Below are the five #BeThe1To action steps from the NSPL for communicating with someone who might be suicidal. 

#BeThe1To:

Ask.

Asking the question “Are you thinking about suicide?” communicates that you’re open to speaking about suicide in a non-judgmental and supportive way. Asking in this direct, unbiased manner, can open the door for effective dialogue about their emotional pain and can allow everyone involved to see what next steps need to be taken. Other questions you can ask include, “How do you hurt?” and “How can I help?” Do not ever promise to keep their thoughts of suicide a secret.

The flip side of the “Ask” step is to “Listen.” Make sure you take their answers seriously and do not ignore them, especially if the person indicates they are experiencing thoughts of suicide. Listening to their reasons for being in such emotional pain, as well as listening for any potential reasons they want to continue to stay alive, are both incredibly important when they are telling you what’s going on. Help them focus on their reasons for living and avoid trying to impose your reasons for them to stay alive.

Keep them safe.

After the “Ask” step, and a determination that suicide is indeed being talked about, it’s important to find out a few things to establish immediate safety. Have they already done anything to try to kill themselves before talking with you? Does the person experiencing thoughts of suicide know how they would kill themselves? Do they have a specific, detailed plan? What’s the timing for their plan? What sort of access to do they have to their planned method?

Knowing the answers to each of these questions can tell us a lot about the imminence and severity of danger the person is in. For instance, the more steps and pieces of a plan that are in place, the higher their severity of risk and their capability to enact their plan might be. Or if they have immediate access to a firearm and are very serious about attempting suicide, then extra steps (like calling the authorities or driving them to an emergency department) might be necessary. The Lifeline can always act as a resource during these moments as well if you aren’t entirely sure what to do next.

Be there. 

This could mean being physically present for someone, speaking with them on the phone when you can, or any other way that shows support for the person at risk. An important aspect of this step is to make sure you follow through with the ways in which you say you will—do not commit to anything you are not willing or able to accomplish. If you are unable to be physically present with someone who has thoughts of suicide, talk with them to develop some ideas for others who might be able to help as well (again, only others who are willing, able, and appropriate to be there). Listening is again very important during this step—find out what and who they believe will be the most effective sources of help.

Help them connect. 

Helping someone with thoughts of suicide connect with ongoing supports (like the Lifeline, 800-273-8255), can help them establish a safety net for those moments when they find themselves in a crisis. Additional components of a safety net might be connecting them with support systems and resources in their communities. Explore some of these possible supports with them—are they currently seeing a mental health professional? Have they in the past? Is this an option for them currently? Are there other mental health resources in the community that can effectively help?

One way to start helping them find ways to connect is to work with them to develop a safety plan. This can include ways for them to identify when they start to experience significant, severe thoughts of suicide along with what to do in those crisis moments. A safety plan can also include a list of individuals to contact when a crisis occurs. 

Follow up. 

After your initial contact with a person experiencing thoughts of suicide, and after you’ve connected them with the immediate support systems they need, make sure to follow-up with them to see how they’re doing. Leave a message, send a text, or give them a call. The follow-up step is a great time to check in with them to see if there is more you can do to help or if there are things you’ve said you would do and haven’t yet had the chance to get done for the person.

This type of contact can continue to increase their feelings of connectedness and share your ongoing support. 

Additionally, be the one to remember.

Remember that you are not alone. At Sanford Lab, the Employee Assistance Program offers support, guidance and resources for you and your dependents during times of difficulty. Sanford Lab employees can find information about the EAP in the Human Resources Benefits section in DocuShare.

"We all know of someone who may be struggling to deal with life’s daily challenges," Executive Director Mike Headley said in an email to staff. "There are resources available to get help including our SDSTA Employee Assistance Program. EAP can be accessed easily and without having to notify a supervisor or HR." 

Help is also available on a national level. Department of Social Services Secretary Lynne Valenti said, “If you need help or you know someone who does, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800.273.TALK (8255). People are available to help 24/7.”